Why were these little boogers ever created?

It actually gives me the heeby geebies to look at it! I am 100% terrified of grasshoppers and it really is ridiculous. Between these nasty creatures and cockroaches, I might end up dying of some type of heart failure because I think I freak out and panic when I come in contact with either of the two. For example, Sean and I decided to go play basketball one night at the apartment basketball courts. Well, after playing a game of one-on-one with him (which he totally beat me and I'm suprised he even enjoys playing with me), I decided I would run some laps around the basketball courts in order to do something while he shot around. Bad idea...there are parts of the court that are more lit than other parts. Well, as I'm running and not paying attention to where I'm running, I apparently interrupted a grasshopper party because they all start jumping around me! I was screaming and dancing around because for some reason, they jump TOWARD you, not away from you. Then of course, Sean decided to have a little fun with me and pick up a fat and short stick (that looked very much like a grasshopper) and was coming toward me with it.

Next experience...I was in my classroom and we were switching classes for our intervention groups. Well, the kids were all coming in and all of a sudden there was a grasshopper flying around frantically. It was a BIG one, might I add. The kids thought it was funny cause I was screaming and running around. Luckily, I have some "macho" boys that were able to get a hold of it and take it outside.

Now, are you ready for what happened tonight? Drum roll...my heart is still pounding due to the exessive screaming and panicing that took place.

Sean and I were walking to our car from a restaurant where we bought gift cards. We get in the car and we were talking about something (I'm sure it was something important, but I can't remember due to the traumatic experience that I had about one second later). I looked down at my leg and saw it! It was big and so ugly! I covered my face and screamed so loud that Sean started freaking out asking me what was wrong. I couldn't respond...I had no words in me. All that came out was a loud scream! (My throat still hurts by the way.) The problem was this: I couldn't take my hands off of my face to point at it because if I made too much movement, it would fly in my face which, at that point, would be uncovered. So, Sean finally saw what I was screaming about and luckily we were at a stop sign. He opened the door and threw it out.

Dear Grasshopper that landed on me,

I hate you. You stink. Next time I see you, I won't be able to do anything because I will be screaming so loud. So, please have some sympathy on me and understand that I might die of a heart attack if you land on me.

Not Love, Not Sincerely,

-Staci